I had a dream last night; I’m never good at remembering dreams and can’t remember all of the detail of this one. However, I was in an airport or a station, although the location doesn’t really matter. There was a girl, about 12 or 13 – she was in a very distressed state. Something tragic had evidently happened, but what it was I do not know. A man came to her – he looked a little sinister; long black leather coat, long unkempt hair. But he spoke to her in a gentle voice and one which conveyed total trust and truth. He explained that there had been a mistake; she wasn’t meant to have existed at all. He could change things back to how they should have been – take away the pain she was going through.
I can’t remember her response, but later, in my head, the same choice is given to me and my two lovely boys – again he speaks softly and with total trust and truthfulness. He says he can make things right – he says he can change it so that the boys never existed. They need never have suffered in the accident. No one else would need to have suffered loss and sadness at their sudden departure. Their answer is the same as mine, that although their lives were short, there is nothing that would make them give up the joy and happiness that they had and that they brought to others.
The loss I feel is only surpassed by the love I had for them.